Cabin Fever
by MistressWatermelon
Summary: Dave and Jade get stuck in John's house during an awful blizzard. Hilarity, sadness, horror terrors, and dick jokes ensue. Dave/Jade and a little John/Rose -First fanfiction I've ever written woot-


In the living room of the Egbert's household, John, Rose, Dave and Jade were decorating an overly-large Christmas tree.

"My dad made me go out and chop this tree down this morning," John complained, looking down at his hands, which were almost completely covered in bandages. "He practically made me chop it down with my bear hands!" Rose made snide remarks every time John complained about his hands, but that didn't stop him from continuing. "I have splinters everywhere." John sneered.

"Those splinters sure do match that raging boner you got there, bro." Dave said. Meer seconds after the comment, Jade punched Dave in the shoulder.

"That didn't even make sense, Dave." John frowned. Rose grinned to herself and continued to string popcorn and cranberries.

"It was a joke! You'd better laugh. I mean I am the only one who can reach the top to put the star on." Dave held the star in his hands as he sat on the couch, and it was decided that his only job was to give appropriate commentary on the Christmas tree decorating and eventually place the star on top of the tree. This job was given to him by John, since before when he was helping (just barely), he hung Christmas ornaments on John's large ugly sweater, breaking several of them.

"If I sat on John's shoulders, I could reach it easy!" Jade smirked, wrapping the tree in several strings of colored lights.

"Psh. You need me." Dave said. He walked into the kitchen and surveyed the area. "Johnny-Boy. You're out of Christmas nosh."

"Maybe if you stopped eating absolutely everything, that wouldn't be a problem." Rose looked up from her popcorn and cranberries to check on the status of the tree, and then continued to her work.

"John. My love. Would you go out and get me some food. I'm a growing boy. I'm going to starve." Dave whined, crawling out of the kitchen, collapsing on the floor in a fit of moaning and groaning.

"Dave I'm busy, you big baby."

"Johnny"

"Dave stop I'm trying to-"

"Is that you, I'm seeing a light"

"Dave let go of my leg!"

"Grandma is that you"

"Dave stop it you're 17 years old"

"Stay gold, Ponyboy…"

Dave lay on the ground under the tree, grasping onto John's right leg. John groaned and laughed, "Fine, Dave, you win. Rose and I can go out to the store really quick I guess. Get some cookies maybe. I've got a hankering for hot cocoa myself." Rose put down her string of cranberries and popcorn and stood up and grabbed her coat.

"If we are going to go, John, we'd better get going soon. The weather is getting pretty bad outside. I really advise we don't go at all," Rose said as she walked to look out the window.

"If we don't, Dave might start to cry." John rolled his eyes and grabbed his keys from the kitchen, "We'll be right back. Don't burn down the house."

Jade sneezed and smiled, "Don't worry, I'll make sure nothing bad happens!" Dave grinned, and waved John and Rose off.

"Make sure you guys don't get pregnant or something on the way there!" Dave yelled as they walked out the door. After John and Rose left, Dave jumped up, sat the star down on the couch, and looked around the living room.

"John's dad is a stickler for baby photos.." Dave mumbled, "They gotta be here somewhere."

"Dave! That isn't very nice at all!" Jade frowned, but then she smiled, "But blackmail is always useful."

"Smart girl," Dave grinned. They searched around for a couple minutes before Dave held up his hands in triumph.

"Jackpot!" Dave said. For the next 20 minutes, Dave and Jade looked at hoards of pictures of John's softy, squishy baby body and face. Dave made many small dick jokes, and Jade laughed at every single one.

After about 60 pages, Jade looked at the door, "I wonder what's taking them so long…"

"They're probably having sex in the car or something." Dave mumbled, looking at more of the pictures. Jade nodded and stood up. She walked toward the window and looked outside.

"What the fuck." She muttered. The scene she saw outside was treacherous. Only a little less than a half an hour ago, the roads were cleared and only an inch of snow was on the ground. Now it seemed that there were at least 5 inches of snow, and the roads were completely covered. Cars were stuck in their driveways and in the roads. Dave's phone rang a moment after Jade had looked outside.

"Yes?" Dave answered. He sat up straight and once in a while muttered 'uh huh' or 'yeah'. Jade looked over at Dave, who had a serious look on his face.

"Alright, good luck." Dave said to his phone. He hung up and sighed, "That was Rose. They're stuck at the market, and they don't know when the roads will be clear enough to drive. With the weather we're having now, who knows."

"Oh...well. I hope they're ok." Jade mumbled, walking back over to the couch and sitting down.

"Oh they're fine. They have food and generators." Dave nodded, "Gather all the candles and blankets, the Egbert's have pretty strong electricity, but I think this weather might destroy some of the power lines, and I don't want my cool to get too cold."

"Can't we just go outside and walk somewhere?" Jade asked.

"Sure, yeah lets do it. I really wanna be a human popsicle, my lifelong dream. I love it when the temperature is below zero." Dave said, walking up the stairs to John's room to grab his blankets.

Dave grabbed all of the blankets from John's room and brought them downstairs. He turned into the living room to find Jade holding at least 13 candles.

She sneezed, dropping all of the candles on the ground.

"Woah, Harley you ok. Whats up with your nose today, anyway." Dave asked, picking up the candles, setting the blankets on the couch.

"Just a bit sick." Jade replied, "But I'm totally ok its just a little cold." Dave frowned.

"Well...make sure you don't die or anything. That would suck." Dave said. Jade stuck out her tongue at him and laughed.

"I'm not going to die, silly. Its just a cold!" She smiled.


End file.
